DuckieDroplets

It’s happened again. A loud clash caught my attention as I twirl around quickly to see another glass fall off its place on the window pane and landed on the ground, splattering into millions of shredded glass. I walked towards it once again, careful not to cut my bare feet. But it was hard not to, and when I reached the broken window to look out at the person outside who had thrown the stone, my feet was already sore, bleeding.

I sighed at the look at the familiar figure. The same eyes, the same expression. He wasn’t looking my way, he would never look into my eyes and see the tears rolling down my cheek. I wished he would. Every time he would wait at the same spot after he threw the stone and break a piece of glass from my window pane. He would wait for me to call out to him: "HEY! YOU NAUGHTY FELLOW! WHY DID YOU BREAK MY GLASS?" and he would grin back mischeiviously before bowing 90 degrees, bids me sorry before running off, dissapearing from my sight.

The next time he appears again, maybe he would bring me back some baskets of fruits, cookies or my favorite chocolate-spread. We would chat, have fun, and grow fonder of each other before it happens again. Before he throws a stone and break my window. No, I’m sure he isn’t doing that on purpose, maybe the conscious him doesn’t even know what he was doing. But he does it. And then he would wait again… He would wait for me to tidy up all the broken piece of glass, get a new one and mend the old before scrubbing it until it’s sparkling clean. And he would expect the call from me to him, asking why did he break my window.

I have always been calling out to him after I’ve done all the cleaning up…I have always been cleaning up the mess… alone…And I have always been letting him throw stones and break my window, again and again. Because I really like him as who he is, for who he is and for everything else that he has done for me.  And because I’ve treated him for what I think he is… "a close friend." Someone whom I’ve let walked pass my guard wolf-dogs, my garden of poisoined black roses, and into the safety zone… right outside my little cottage door. If he brings me more chocolate-spread that I can put on my bread for breakfast, maybe I’ll consider letting him come into my cottage the next time he comes. But… he’s been throwing stones too many times.

Grasp it if you want it
I am not your medicine
I am not your pair of warm slippers
nor I am your favorite childhood story book you tugged under your bed.
I am a person, or what you call "A friend". No… you call me your "close friend."
So. prove it…
Prove my existance as what you named me.
I have done every bit of my capability to show and prove your existance.
Friendship is mutual.
Now it’s your turn.

…If he chooses to wait, like what he has done in the past. Then I’ll make my last move. He’s walked too far in and he made a mistake to throw a stone and break pieces of the glass. So I’ll have to invite him to step a few steps further out. We will still be friends that’s for sure. I wouldn’t want to lose a friend just like that. I still need that connection, who knows on what purpose I might need it in the future.

It’s enough… It’s not the first time
I’ve mended too many broken glasses and my back aches just doing all the picking-up work. It’s not hard for me to make the first move actually…to call out to him…not hard for me to pretend that nothing much had happened and that I am fine… and that another few stones thrown at me is nothing. But whether do I want or not, is another matter.

Yea. I will try to not let myself turn my back on him though…He would be the last person that I want to turn my back on. I think I’ve told him that some time ago when he apologize after I called out to him… "I wouldn’t want to stay mad at you forever lar… hehe… I couldn’t…" But now I’m already doubting myself. Could I?

Change is constant.
I’m kinda worried though… If I stay mad at him, is actually a good sign… It means I still "Care." But what if I stop caring…

He meant such a big deal, he was such a great friend

and now I’m using past tense…

This is not the first time it’s happening.
It’s so tiring…
mending broken window panes.

I looked down at the pool of shredded glass I stand upon before my eyes laid upon my sore feet, the old scars plaiting its way up my leg. Heaving a heavy sigh, I looked out again at the figure standing outside my cottage door. What shall I do… what should I do…

Let’s see… it’s the starting of our first day of holiday. And the happy me woke up at 10am! Wohoo… haven’t slept so long for a while. The latest I woke up during schooling hours was around 8:30am. So waking up at 10am is a very happy thing! When I realize what day it was, I was even happier! No… it’s not just another saturday! It’s THE saturday… the saturday where I was gonna hang out with the coolest gang in university ~ The Conducting Department! Wakaka…

I was kinda having two thoughts at a time, I’m worried if they’d say anything about my one-streak-of-bright-purple-highlights (yea, I dyed my hair) but I also can’t wait to see them. Although we ain’t very close, but when you’re all in this together, it makes everything strange very close. I was supposed to photostet the sight reading materials for a few of them so right after I got up I called the photostet guy and asked him to come over and collect the materials I needed to copy. The good thing here in China is that they provide this kinda superb pick-up and bring-back services, not just for food, but even for photocopying stuffs. Cool right? The bad thing is that you’ll have to wait a while (like min 2 hours) before you can get your things back… so if you’re in a hurry, this is not your thing to do.

Approximately 1:45pm after having my brief lunch made up of a few slice of ham and an egg plus two toasted bread, I went down to meet up with HaoYu and DingYi. The three of us took a cab to the Capital Muzium of Beijing. WHY? Lolx. Because there’s where the Conducting Dept. decided to take all of us on our first outing in this 2006-2007 first semester. The three of us (late) ran up a few hundred stairs before reaching the front of the muzium where EVERYBODY was waiting. Whoops. Lolx. But lucky us, we’re not the last to reach.

There are 6 floors in the very-huge muzium and divided into two sides (east and west)  … (or north and south). We managed to peek through every floor and get a glimpse of everything. I’m not very much of a muzium-fan, so I do think it was kinda boring. Half way through the tour HuangYi came up to me when I was snapping some pictures out of boredom and asked in a very happy manner with both his eyebrows raised: "Having fun?" And I gave him the garfield look which then retorted into his high-pitch laughing. "Ookay, ookay… I get it. They’re bringing us here cuz they say we have mental problems and needed some good brain-washing." I gave him the garfiled look again, he grinned and walked off. *raises eyebrow* Since when was he so lame. LOL… maybe the boredom got him.

3 hours later, the whole bunch of us headed over to the Brasil Roasted Meat Buffet Restaurant where DINNER is served. Hehe… it was fun. Food is always the best way to break ice and interact with one another.. suddenly everyone’s so much close to each other. The food was average, not much to choose from for a buffet… but since everything’s free, so I’m pretty content with everything. Lolx. YEAP! FREE! Hehe, the Conducting Dept’s treating us to all this. Cool right? Haha… only the Conducting Dept. in the WHOLE UNIVERSITY treats us to all this kinda stuffs. That’s why I say, it’s the coolest dept with the coolest people! HOHO… including me of course~! Wakaka, I’m part of the big family now.

After stuffing ourselves with loads of food, the few of us … youngsters … decided that it was too early to head home (barely 8 yet), so the 7 of us headed over to Hou Hai to paddle little boats! Lol. We had some hard time deciding what to do, but ended up here because well… good exercise after a big dinner wor… LOL. We had some major fun, especially with ZhouQingYu around, who happens to be the heaviest among us. Hahaha… we had to divide into two groups: LiHaoRan, ZhaoHaoTing and ZhouQingYu in one whilst me, HuangYi, JiaJia & DingYi in another. Well, there was something wrong with their boat and it couldn’t move very fast, plus with the weight of the three guys over there compared to us (3 girls and 1 guy)… of course they couldn’t move.

WAKAKA… Then half way through the journey (in the middle of the lake), the guys decided that they cannot stand the speed of the boat and wanted to shift places… okay lor. So we exchanged boats in the middle of the lake! Haha… it was scary cuz we had to cross boats. HuangYi and I exchanged with ZhaoHaoTing and LiHaoRan. Then after around 20 mins, the madly barking ZhouQingYu (who was supposed to change with DingYi but abandoned by his mates) managed to catch hold of the other boat and climb over the other boat… lolx… boy was I worried it would SINK! WAKAKAKA… DingYi came over in exchange. We found something out almost immediately… any boat with ZhouQingYu aboard is SLOW. LOLX… Wakaka… and HuangYi’s laughing is really high-pitched. Lolx.

After the very tiring paddling for around 1 hour ++, we returned the boats and went back on land. "OH~~~ LAND!" Haha. DingYi and I went to the toilet, and I finally got a glimpse at how china people still doesn’t mind doing it in the open. There were 4 toilets and two without doors. (GROSS), and people still go to the ones without doors and well… do their business with everyone else watching. I, of course cannot bear doing that, so I’d rather wait longer for the toilet with doors. *shudders*

It was around 9++, HuangYi’s dad called and asked him to returned home asap, JiaJia has to go because she’s got something on very early next morning and ZhouQingYu (who was still a little dizzy from the red wine and too much paddling.. lolx) was too tired to continue. Sigh, so from the group of 7, it became 4. I didn’t mind going back nor going out, so I stayed. We went for pool… not my kinda game, I genarally did most of the destroying!Lolx. When ever it’s my turn, I’ll always make sure that where ever the balls lies in perfect place, it’s gonna go somewhere else. Hehe.. soree lar, dunno how to play simply hit is like that geh.

It was a one hour play, and around 10++ we went off. ZhaoHaoTing had a phone call just before the game ended and he ran outside to talk. (Probably girlfriend in the other line). We paid for the game and went out later on… DingYi met with some of her friends and went off first (she’s got her whole night planned with karaoke before staying over at a friends’ place and leaving first thing in the morning back to her hometown). Then HaoRan and I waited for ZhaoHaoTing to turn up… 5 minutes passed… there was no sign of him, tried to call but engaged… he was still on the phone. 15 minutes passed, there was STILL no sign of him and we STILL can’t get through his phone. Frustrated and tired, HaoRan decided to go looking for him. So, we went hunting around that area, but we saw no sign of him. Finally 30 minutes later he called asking where we were…

The three of us took a cab back to the Brasil Buffet Restaurant because HaoRan promised AikKhai to help bring AikKhai’s bike back to school. But there was 3 of us and 1 bike that can only sit two person… so the only solution for the three of us is to WALK. From the Brazil Buffet Restaurant back to school took us approximately another tiring 30 minutes. I practically bath and slept straight away, didn’t even turned the computer on… lolx. Was tired to such an extend, but it was very memorable and fun.

Can’t wait till the next time the conducting dept. brings us out again… heard it’s gonna be during New Year… 1st of January. Hehe… Can’t wait!